Remembering
by Mara-SS
Summary: What if one day you woke up and you don't remember anything about your past life, not even your appearance. Follow the story of this girl as se discovers her story. I suck at summaries sotry is great I promise BalianXOC


Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom of Heaven; if I did I would be dating Orlando Bloom by now. I DO own Cassandra and the rest of original characters to come.

A/N: I planned on using cursive letter when a character is thinking and the bold one for Cassandra's POVS. This is my first fanfiction so don't be too harsh on reviews although constructive criticism id appreciated especially when it comes to grammar.

She woke up, the dense fog covering her surroundings, couldn't even see the palm of her hand. Shaking from both fear and cold she rose up and started walking.

_Where am I? How did I got here? Who am I?_

Its strange how she couldn't remember anything that happened her before she woke up, she tried hard, forced her mind into giving her answers for this questions but it was all in vain, she was lost, _god had abandoned me_.

After hours of walking without direction the fog started dissipating the sun shone bright in the sky, she always found strange how people say that the sun gives them hope, until now. She could feel herself starting to relax and a small smile form in her face as soon as she saw a village appear in the horizon.

The village seemed rather small from the distance but as she got closer she realised it was actually quite a large one. She was tired; the only thing that kept her going was the thought of finding some kind soul who could help her. _Would someone even help me? I must be looking like a beggar . . . was I a beggar?_

The first thing she saw when she arrived was what seemed as a blacksmith's shop. Swords and horseshoes where hanged at the wooden walls and a large fire burned in the middle of the room. She started to walk shyly towards the shop looking for the owner, no one to be seen; _maybe I should just wait for a while_.

Her fingers starting tracing the edges of the swords, _have I ever touched one before? I supposed I have_, the touch of cold iron seemed familiar to her.

There she was lost in her thoughts when she was harshly spun around only to find herself with a pair of piercing brown eyes and a dagger pointing to her throat.

"Who are you?" The man asked.

"Answer me!" He insisted again pressing the dagger harder

"I...I... I don't know" She stuttered trying to remain calm _but how could anyone to remain calmed when a dagger is near their neck?_

Surprisingly he backed away slowly but his gaze remained piercing. She took a couple of deep breathes in order to restrain herself form falling to the ground, her legs were shaking so strongly that she truly believed she wouldn't be able to move control them again. As slowly as she could she sat in the ground, her back against the wooden wall.

The man, who she supposed to be the blacksmith, kneeled besides her not taking his gaze off my eyes at any moment. For a second she took a close look at this man, she could only describe with one word, beautiful.

She was shaken form her thoughts again by his voice.

"You are not lying to me"

"No" She answered trying to keep her eyes on his but for some reason it was impossible for her.

"It was not a question, it was an affirmation" he said standing up and offering this strange girl his hand. _Why am I doing this? I don't even know who she is...she could be an assassin of a thieve_

She looked at him with a confused look; _How did he know I was telling the truth? And even most importantly should I take his hand?_ She didn't knew this man at all, she suspect he is the blacksmith but he could very well be the towns assassin as well. She only realised she had taken his hand already when she felt him puling her slowly to my feet.

"My name is Balian, I'm the blacksmith" _So I was right about that_

"I am sorry but I cannot give you my name since, well, I don't even recall me having one" She said with a small smile. Balian smiled back

"Then we will have to find you a name"

She thought for a while, She never thought it was so hard to name yourself. _There are so many names I like... maybe..._

"Cassandra" She didn't know why but that name just came to her and she felt oddly familiar with it.

"Pretty" Balian answered making her blush. She knew Balian had realised this since he laughed a little "Well then, Cassandra you look like you are really tired, would you like to eat something?"

That comment made her remember she didn't even know how she looked and also that her stomach was grumbling in need for food _how long have I been walking anyway?_ She simply nodded.

"Come follow me inside" Balian said taking her hand making her blush again _how does he do this? _Although this time he couldn't see her and Cassandra was grateful for that.

They went inside a small hut it was small but it was warm inside and Cassandra felt good being inside a house after dying of cold in the open air. Balian motioned her to sit on a wooden chair next to the table, Cassandra did as instructed. _It feels so good to sit down after a long walk_; she stretched a little and yawned slightly attempting to cover her mouth with her hand only to remember myself that my muscles were still working.

Balian, who was in the kitchen warming the soup he had been cooking before he felt Cassandra in the shop, turned around to look at her. He smiled at the view of her long hair flowing down her back and the way she stretched made him remember of his wife, so graceful.

When Cassandra turned to look at Balian in the kitchen he was smiling at her making Cassandra instantly smile back.

"So you are tired?" He asked

"Yes but not as hungry" Cassandra answered making Balian chuckle. _I haven't realised how handsome he looks when he smiled_.

In that moment Cassandra hated herself for daring to think that. He was a man who was being very good to her but she barely knew about him, and besides he must have a wife and plenty of children … and here she was felling attracted to him.

_Did I just say I was? No... No ... I am not attracted to his man._

"Here you are, I am sure it's not the best thing you've ever tasted but it will serve your stomach" Balian said placing a small plate of soup and a piece of bread in front of Cassandra

"Thanks" she said not looking at his eyes and still hating herself for having sinful thoughts

Balian sat in the chair in front on Cassandra with an equal plate of soup. Cassandra started eating slowly feeling the relief of having some food inside her system and felling the warm soup travel in her body, _how long have I been without food? How long have I taken to wake up? _In that moment she felt Balian's gaze on her, Cassandra was afraid of lifting my eyes and looking into his, she was afraid he could by some method figure out what had been in her thoughts only seconds ago. Slowly she raised my gaze to his level.

"What's wrong?" she asked with a small grin knowing that question would make him uncomfortable

"Nothing, It's just been a long time since I saw a woman eat" He replied smiling. They both laughed at this comment, especially Cassandra who was caught off guard by this answer.

"What's so different between the way a man and a woman eat?" she asked between giggles.

"Well, now that you ask, women seem so delicate while eating, don't ask me why they just do...maybe it's their hands" Cassandra knew Balian was having a hard time finding an answer and she was finding every minute of it rather enjoyable. "For example you" he continued making Cassandra raised an eyebrow inquiringly, _what about me?_ "Your hands seem so delicate, almost like you were royalty"

Cassandra nailed her look to the table as she felt herself blush crimson red, but then the thoughts concerning her identity hit her again as strong as a lighting, _What if I was royalty? How could I tell? Was I ever going to find who I am?_ She could feel now the stinging of the tears trying to escape her eyes.

"Are you well Cassandra? If it was something I said then..." Balian tried to apologise rather inarticulately

"No" Cassandra interrupted "It isn't your fault I am just a fit tired" of course she was lying or, half a lie since it wasn't exactly Balian's comment the thing that got her to tears.

"Oh! Then you can use my bed, I can sleep on the floor" Balian offered as he stood up. Cassandra did the same.

"No, no I couldn't you have been so kind to me and besides I don't think your wife will agree in sleeping on the floor with you" she said chuckling at her own comment, She instantly stopped when she noticed he wasn't laughing, he wasn't even smiling. Instead of that there was an expression of pain or grief in his face, what have I said?

"I don't have a wife, she died after my daughter did, two weeks ago, I life alone" he said quietly looking straight to the floor. Balian felt how his heart broke into pieces the same way it had two weeks ago, and even when he wanted to he couldn't find the strength to tell Cassandra his wife committed suicide. _She would probably think God has abandoned me…and he probably did_

In that moment Cassandra her heart being crashed aswell but for a different reason, she was not only having sinful thoughts about a married man, but a man that had lost his family not long ago,_ If god was still with her he was most probably giving this action a second thought_

"I...I am sorry...I...I just should not be so curious...sorry" She stuttered looking at the wall not being able to look into his eyes and not knowing what to say to make things better.

Balian could see the pain in the poor girl's eyes. He slowly walked towards her and placed his hand on her shoulder reassuringly. Cassandra raised my eyes only to find Balian's ones a few inches away form hers.

"It's okay, I know you didn't mean harm" he said almost in a whisper with a small reassuring smile.

They stood silent for a while simply looking at each other knowingly, Cassandra had an odd sensation that they both understood what they were going through, _we are both alone_.

"So I'll take you to bed, and don't argue this time" Balian said breaking the silence. Cassandra only smiled and nodded not being able to speak just yet.

**I was in my room; my fingers traced the silk of the covers, the window blowing the turquoise curtains into the room.**

"**Laura, dear" My mother called as she entered the room "You should be out of bed by now" She was beautiful dressed in a light blue and silver dress her red curly hair down in waves, she looked like and angel.**

"**Why?" I removing the covers form on top of me and sitting at the edge on the bed**

"**Oh dear don't you remember, you are meeting your future husband today" She answered with a smile.**

**I felt my heart stop.**

Cassandra woke up with her heart beating hard on her chest; she sat down immediately and looked around her. She was in Balian's room, Cassandra sighted in relief. The dream has been so real and the emotions she felt were, as strange as it might sound, familiar.

Cassandra stood up and walked towards a small table with a mirror; she sat on the small stool and for the first time took a look at her face. It took a while to realise that the girl reflected in the mirror was herself. Big brown eyes, small delicate nose which she liked right away, small but full lips which were pale rose and long wavy light brown hair with a shade of red, she was wearing a bright orange dress with a golden flower figures. Cassandra smiled at her reflection, she didn't look as a beggar although she definitely needed a bath, her face and arms had dirt in most places.

She turned her attention to a silk golden embroidered hood lying on top of a small armchair. She stood up and let her fingers trace the embroiders of the silk, the texture was the same of her covers in her dream _what if I am really royalty…not beggar could use this could they?_

Balian slowly opened the door of his room; there she was playing with her silk hood, the one she was wearing yesterday. The sun entered through the window in front of her illuminating her features _she looks like and angel._

In that moment Cassandra turned around to see Balian smiling at her.

"Already examined your reflection?" Asked Balian looking at the mirror and then at myself"

"Yes" I answered "But my reflection told me I am in need of a bath" Cassandra and Balian laughed. Both of them thought it was good to see the other laugh after yesterday's conversation.

"We can solve that problem" Balian said "I'll bring a kettle with hot water a bowl, a towel, and you can wash yourself here" suddenly he stopped and examined Cassandra making her feel uncomfortable "You will need new clothes aswell, my wife was a bout the same size I can give them to you…if you want to of course" He added.

Balian knew the idea of wearing his wife's clothing wasn't going to be completely appealing to Cassandra, but it was the only thing to do. And he was right Cassandra wasn't at all comfortable with the idea but she knew that it wasn't going to be a bed of roses for Balian either to see another woman especially a stranger wearing his wife's clothes, besides, he was trying to be nice to her, she couldn't refuse.

A/N: I hope you like it so far… I know that the Baron of Ibelin come the same day of Balian's wife death I just decided to delay it a bit so that the plot had more sense.

Love ya'll


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